iknewsome.com

So I am starting this at 3 in the morning. I should totally be asleep by now. I just had a lovely relaxing day off of work, and tomorrow it is back to the hell hole. Well I suppose it would technically be today, but I don’t consider it the next day until after I wake up. So anyway, I had a friend who pondered as to who actually reads his blogs, and I began thinking the same thing. I am sure that it is like maybe one or two, and that would probably be a little bit of a stretch. A few of my friends have told me that they check up on it from time to time, but with my long pauses between each post, I am sure they loose interest.

But oh well, this is really just my outlet to get out what is in my mind. If someone reads it, then that is fine too.

So far all of my classes are running along smoothly. My grades in my classes are high, and everything is going the way I want it to go. This semester I have Humanities, Spanish, and English. Not a bundle of joy, but not too overbearing. Actually in my Humanities class, I haven’t recieved any grades. She actually sent with us an at home mid-term. Of course, me being the procrastinator that I am, I haven’t even touched it. The only thing I have done is put my name on the top which we had to do before we left the class. I always tell myself that I won’t procrastinate, and that I will do it as soon as I get home. Hah, yeah right. I will probably end up staying up until 3 Wednesday night finishing it. Hopefully not, but history does have a habit of repeating itself.

Anyways, enough about school. I wanna talk about LIFE! Life right now isn’t too shabby. I mean, there isn’t some huge dramatical soap opera being played in my life right now. It is rather boring when you think about it. I started a membership at a gym. I told myself that it is time to get myself into shape. So I have been going there after work usually. Doing a few miled on the treadmill and the stationary bike. It is a nice stress reliever. Tonight I decided to go in there at like 1am and work out for a bit. Of course, the one night that I decide to come in late, someone else decides to come in late. Now, I don’t like working out by myself, but I don’t like working out with people I don’t know. So I was alone, and with these other people I had never seen before. So I kind of shortned my stay. Other than that, there is nothing happening in the relationship department. No new people in my life to speak of.

I suppose this is enough for a nice entry for tonight. Maybe I will think of something else to say, and I will post again sooner.

I think things, and then wonder.. why in the hell do I care? I shouldn’t care about some of the things I worry about. But then there are more things other than that, that make me feel pathetic.

I probably shouldn’t even feel pathetic for my self for this, but I hate feeling sorry for myself, so feeling pathetic seems to be the best next choice.

All of my life I have wanted to be accepted, and I believe that I am accepted by a lot of people. But I thought that was all that I wanted. Now I am starting to realize, I want to be more than just accepted into someone’s life. I want to make an impact, I want them to feel that I am someone that is unlike any other friend they have. I want to feel irreplaceable. Not necessarily be better than anyone, just someone that sticks out in your mind, and makes you think “Hmm, I wonder what they are doing.” I feel like that for so many people, they could just as easily replace me. I don’t feel like one of a kind, no matter how hard I try. I sit and think about all the people who have made such a lasting impression on me, and I wonder if I have done the time to them. I think highly of so many people, and I just wonder if they think the same of me.

I don’t know where any of this is coming from. Well, actually I do, but I guess this thing is too public for that much information. Not that anyone ever actually reads this.

I am always second, when will I ever be first?

Yeah, not really for elaborating right now.

It is getting kind of cold now. I guess it would be time for me to turn off my ceiling fan. But I am kind of excited that it is getting cooler. I just now need to go and find all my long sleeve shirts and such. Uh oh, I think it is time to go SHOPPING!

So lately I have been going a lot of schooling. But now, I feel as if I can stop.. and take a breather. Today (Friday) I have NO classes at all. I am so loving it. Monday, I will only have ONE class. That class doesn’t start until 5:30. This weekend I have to do a little working, Saturday 5 to 10, and Sunday 12 to 5. Not so bad, and I am a cashier those two days. That means no bathroom duty, and no milk or egg stocking. Hopefully no buggy pushing. Although, Tuesday I am a Service Clerk, but I really don’t mind it that much I don’t guess.

So lately I have been hanging out with my a girl that I kind of knew in high school, but we were never really friends. Her name is Lindsey. I ask myself, “And WHY weren’t we friends?” She is awesome. A great friend really. I have been hanging out with her a lot lately. We are both wanting to make a funny video, and since on my computer I have iMovie, which is an AWESOME video editing program, I am excited to get started on it. (Oh, dear. I wish my dog could go turn off my fan, I am shivering over here.)

Speaking of my dogs, they are flea infested. We have bathed, and brushed and all that with them. We just can’t get rid of them. Unfortunately, I love these dogs so much, I can’t tell them they can’t sleep with me in my room. Therefore, I am flea bitten also. I figure, that if they have to suffer, I should suffer too. But we have order them some good flea solution, and hopefully that will get rid of it all. Also, we have to powder to put on the carpet that will hopefully kill all the fleas.

Ohh.. before I end this. My birthday is coming up!! I am really excited. Yet, I have NO idea what I want to do. I am kind of sad because it doesn’t seem as if my friends have anything planned for me, so it will have to be up to me to make any type of decision as to what I am going to do. Last year I went to Olive Garden. It was nice. I had fun. There wasn’t a HUGE turnout, but I had a nice bit of friends to come and eat with me. So I guess I still have about 2 weeks to figure it out.

Till next time.