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So it is 4:35 am.. and its 9 days until I am embark on my journey to San Francisco. This will also be my first time EVER flying. Needless to say, I am pretty nervous. I was laying in bed, just thinking about it. I think that the more I think about it, the more nervous I get about it. It would be much easier for me if I just didn’t think about it. But that is SO hard to do! Of course I am thinking about all the things that could go wrong with my flight. I am so afraid that I won’t be able to sleep the night before, and then when I get to San Francisco I will be too tired to do anything.
I just don’t know anymore. It is so discouraging. Especially with what happened the other day with the plane that had to do a water landing in a river. If that were to happen to me, and I then arrived at my destination.. would I want to get back on a plane? I can’t just not fly back. How would I get home? I am being such a baby right now.
There is a guy that comes into the store all the time, and he is a pilot. Maybe it would be wise for me to talk to him about it.
I know not many people read this.. but for those who do and have flown before: any tips?

I got a message from some unknown person the other day saying he found my website on twitter and asked me why I hadn’t updated in awhile. I started to think… why haven’t I? Pure laziness I suppose. So today I figured I would give a short re-cap of the recent events. I haven’t updated in over two months.. so I won’t bore you will every detail (assuming anyone really reads this).

The most recent major activity would have to of been CHRISTMAS! It is probably one of my most favorite times of the year. I love the felloship with family and friends, the wonderful unity we all feel, and of course.. the presents. Although, even though Christmas is over.. it isn’t over for me, and probably for many people. Why do I say this? Because all the debt I have acquired from buying people shit. I hope you are all happy. Just kidding, I enjoyed it. I got a few nice things; there is no real reason to go into what all I got. But just know that it was a nice Christmas.

Lately I have been doing a lot of thinking. Thinking usually always gets me into trouble, because I start to think of things that depress me. Such as not having a significant other in my life. I always say that I shouldn’t be thinking about that, and that if it is going to happen, it will. But seriously. I see all these people in a happy relationship and it just sickens me. Not them, personally. Just the fact that I don’t have that. I know that no relationship is perfect and that it isn’t all hugs and kisses all the time. But even still, wouldn’t is be nice to be able to say “Yeah that is him. My boyfriend.” I mean come on now! I have almost given up on even liking people, because as soon as that happens it seems that they go and start liking someone else. I hate it when people seem to show interest in me and then it goes in the COMPLETE and OPPOSITE direction. But of course I can’t fault them. They are just them, and I am me.

I get the “You are adorable, you are so cute and sweet.” Ok.. so if all this is true, why is it so hard for me to find someone? I know I live in a small.. po-dunk town with a limited variety of whom I can date.. but there has to be something. I don’t know anymore.

There have been a few people who I have talked to.. but I mean, they just didn’t work out. I don’t consider myself picky either. Because I am really not. It just has to be someone who is compatible with me. Now, when I saw that there have been a few people, I most certainly do not mean a lot. Like maybe 2? I don’t even think that it has been that many, honestly. Maybe one. Believe me, I tried. I tried multiple times. Because I REALLY wanted it to work out. He was nice, and I tried to like him. But anyways, it just didn’t work out.

But heaven forbid I find someone that I like, because as soon as I start to like them, it turns in the opposite direction. Oh and I might want to add, that I usually don’t start off liking them. I mean, as friends I do. Then MY friends start telling me that I should go for it. That it might be someone who I could be with. Then I start thinking about it, and I start to like the person. As I am writing this, I am sort of laughing. Because thinking about all these different times, yeah that is what happens.

I guess all of my blogs turn into venting rants. I should start actually using this thing for something positive. Telling the positive aspects of my life. My friend I just made recently was venting to me, and asked if there was anything I wanted to share. I said that there was nothing exciting in my life. And there isn’t really. But sharing this would have been kind of what he was venting to me about .

Well, I guess until next time.

Josh

Oh and to the person who was messaging me about my blog, hope you continue reading .

Until I can devote some time to this thing, I am going to leave it at the default template. Shhhh.. I don’t care what you think.

“Take A Chance On Me”
by ABBA

If you change your mind, I’m the first in line
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down
If you’re all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain’t no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa ba-ba
Honey I’m still free
Take a chance on me

So last night, Kevin picked me up from work, and took me to his house. My computer has now been upgraded to Leopard! It is really cool.  I can’t wait to really sit down and personalize everything. So last night, we went to Arby’s (which is probably why my stomach hurts right now) and then we went to Spark. So this is my time at Spark…

At first I wasn’t really enjoying myself. I wanted to dance, but I had no one to dance with. Kevin and Andrew were doing their thing, Billy won’t dance, unless it is with Kevin, so I was just standing there, doing nothing. So as the night progressed, I got even more bored. FINALLY, Kevin and Andrew were like, “You want to dance?” So I said ye, and they pulled me out on the dance floor, and we danced for a good while, I had a lot of fun.

Well I have to work tonight, so we are probably going to be heading back to my house to drop me off soon, hopefully stopping to get something to eat.. because I am starving.